The Principle of Thoughtful Contribution

The Principle of Thoughtful Contribution

Posted by docapc at 6:53 pm

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     By  P.M. Forni,Ph.D.

“What’s in it for me?” This is the unenlightened attitude billions among us go through life with. Why unenlightened? Is there something wrong with the pursuit of personal interest? No, there is not. What is wrong, and in the long run counter-productive as well, is to let the pursuit of personal interest become an exclusive affair, without consideration for needs and desires of the rest of the world. Now, should we then upend our question and make “What’s in it for others?” the one we are looking for? This may point the way to sainthood, but I am not sure that as a practical existential compass it works any better than “What’s in it for me?”  Enter Benjamin Franklin, with his opinion that the noblest question in the world is: “What good may I do in it?”  If the voice of our conscience has not been muted, we immediately perceive that there is something right here—something perfectly balanced. Although Franklin’s attitude is one of going beyond mere self-interest, he does not wonder “What good may I do for my fellow humans?” In other words, he is not advocating that we forget self-interest. The goal he advocates is a commitment to bettering the world, whatever form that betterment might take. This allows us to go beyond the “good for me, good for others” alternative. The idea is that our allegiance is neither to ourselves or the other person, but rather to the situation in which we both find ourselves. 

Our survival instincts program us to grab the prize of the moment, lest a competitor grab it before we do. For Cal Hockley, the main villain in Titanic, the ultimate prize was a spot in a lifeboat about to leave the sinking ship—and he showed that he was ready to do anything to prevent anyone from taking that prize from him.  While an aggressively self-centered behavior is always an option, in everyday life ethical considerations do make us often choose restraint. Very practical considerations play a role as well. Sure, we can use people as means for the satisfaction of our needs and desires; sure we can loot and plunder, but ruined relationships with those we wronged  and a ruined reputation make that a very costly gain.  How should we live, then?  Here is a simple rule of thumb that allows us to manage life situations both ethically and expediently. A re-elaboration into a principle of the two approaches to life situations I mentioned above, I call it the Principle of Thoughtful Contribution:

In every situation in life our primary concern should not be what we can get out of it.  Rather we should think how we can best give of ourselves to it. The only decent way to act is with an eye to achieving something good beyond our own immediate interest.

Although snowstorms are not frequent in Baltimore, about every other year a big one comes calling, eventually making us measure the might of mother nature in feet rather than inches. And so the shovel detail of the able-bodied denizens of my residential cul-de-sac goes to work, plumes of white breath coming out of our red noses in the stinging winter air. It is hard work, especially if the snow has solidified, but a few hours later the cars of our elderly and frail neighbors who could not join us outside will have been dug out just like our own. Now, no immediate reward awaits us for our extra efforts on behalf of neighbors we do not even know very well. No immediate reward, that is, other than that of having done the right thing—or if you prefer, of having followed the Principle of Thoughtful Contribution.

“What is the best possible contribution I can give?” is the question both smart and decent you want to ask yourself whenever you are faced with a decision of some consequence. I am not arguing that you should forget your own interests, needs and desires. I am just saying that as you take the time to identify in your mind the ideal course of action, you avoid going immediately and unthinkingly for the lazy or narrowly self-serving option. In other words, I am urging you to give the best in you a fair chance to come out and play itself out. Back to the snow-removal, one of these years I might decide to just dig out my own car because I have papers to grade, a speech to write and way too little time to do it. What I can do, then, is to remind my neighbors still at work in the snow to dig out all the cars. Before I sit down with my papers it may also be a good idea to make a couple of telephone calls to our elderly neighbors to let them know that we have not forgotten them. This time, this would be the best contribution I can give.

How exactly does self-interest figure in the picture? When you give of yourself to the situation at hand you are also furthering your own advantage. That you are doing it in an indirect way does not mean that you are doing it ineffectively. In fact, you are pursuing your goals in one of the smartest possible ways: by helping others pursue theirs. An act of yours that benefits others is always a deposit at the bank of reciprocal altruism. Sooner or later you are going to make a withdrawal. Maybe the people you helped will help you in return. Maybe they will want to befriend you or do business with you. People like to do business with people they like. Maybe other people impressed by your handling of yourself will want to be around you and so they will strengthen your platform of social support.   The mere fact of having volunteered help, however, will reward you with the gratifying feeling of having done the right thing. You may even experience Helper’s High, a special sense of elation that comes from selflessly improving the lives of others. Feeling good about ourselves is always good for both our physical and mental health. Trust the Principle of Thoughtful Contribution, that wonderfully simple and effective regulator of our actions. In every circumstance of life do think first about what to give rather than what to take. The taking will come in due time as a matter of course. There is absolutely no need to fret.

By Dr.Forni, Director of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project, Author of Choosing Civility and The Civility Solution